Let's Get Clarity: Who Am I? Who Are You?

Let's Get Clarity: Who Am I? Who Are You?   May 7, 2018


When was the last time you asked yourself the question: Who am I? 

What if I suggested it was important to answer that question without reference to your name, title, family, your business, your past, your particular circumstances? 

Let us take a deep breath and pause for a minute before we dive into these questions. Consider the instruction from Lao Tzu in Verse 15 from The Tao Te Ching, as translated by Stephen Mitchell:

"Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear? 
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises from itself?"

This verse is a gentle instruction to be still a moment and let your mind clear of thoughts and distractions. Just breathe. Be still. Let your intuition guide you to the core of who you really are – and your actions will speak your truth. 

I know these are deep questions.  

So, let’s get tactical. One of the reasons why I love coaching from the Certified High Performance Coaching (CHPC) framework is that we are always very practical and tactical.  What can you start to do differently, right now? I am going to lead you through one of the exercises we do in Session #2 of CHPC titled: “Quick Wins: Clarity.”  

Ask yourself: What are the three words that define who I am, when I am at my best, living from my best self, living in congruence with my values? I usually challenge people to think about using verbs, words that are action-oriented, because we want to live these words. Your three words are not dependent on your title or position, how you look or where you live, how old you are, how many children you may have, or your social status and that of your circle of friends.   

Make your three words aspirational.  

While you are continuing to reflect on your three words, let me share my three words. This is simply one example to help get you started. My three words are: Loving, Serving, Teaching.  

When I was full bore into my Wall Street career, did I ever stop to ask myself, Who am I? Would these have been my three words back then? Absolutely not! And now, these three words are the intention I set for myself – every day, every hour of every day. These words all touch my purpose and my passion. 

So, now, close your eyes and take a deep breathe. What are your three words?

I would like to ask you do three things: 

  1. Say those three words out loud and write them down.
  2. Set an alarm on your smart phone, with a label for these three words. Set a time of your choosing. This will remind you every day to stop and reflect: Am I living as my best self?
  3. Keep your three words – and the WHY behind these three words – as your intention for who you will be every day and focus on living them fully.

This is Clarity! When you are clear about who you are when you are at your best, set this intention every day, and remind yourself during the day, the “right” actions arise and flow naturally. 

Do you feel the joy and confidence of consistently living from your best self?  That is exactly why Clarity is one of the most important habits of high performers. 

We have barely scratched the surface of how my conversations on Clarity evolve with clients over the course of a single hour. Over the course of the sessions in this CHPC program of 12 meetings and continuing on …. we just keep going deeper and deeper. Have you ever felt that you have dug really, really deep into an issue, only to  realize you have barely scratched the surface? That happens to me… all the time. 

As a Certified High Performance Coach, I am sharing one of our proprietary exercises. It is thought-provoking and very powerful. Please accept this as a gift – generosity is a core value of mine. And, so is respect. I ask you to please respect the CHPC Trademark. 

In our book, “Be Happy NOW!” I have talked about this very question: Who am I? See Chapter 9, “Look Within and Love Me.” Clarity -- knowing yourself, trusting your Higher Self, and loving yourSelf -- are inextricably intertwined. If you are not clear on who you are … if you do not know and love who you really are … how can you be a good leader … a good husband/wife/partner/friend/ boss? How can you be happy with yourself? 

In closing, I ask you to reflect on your three words. Share these words with your partner, family or friends, at a time and place that feels appropriate. Please ask them to listen to your heart - with their heart. This is not a topic for debate or negotiation. It is about you sharing a very deep and important reflection.  

Does this make sense to you? Does it resonate? I would love to hear from you. 

As you can see from this newsletter and my website, https://www.alisonlanzafalls.com 
there are lots of ways of engaging with me. 

I would love it if you would “Like” and “Follow” our Facebook page for Be Happy NOW! at https://www.facebook.com/behappynowfallsprudhomme.  My coauthor, David S Prudhomme  and I are at BookExpo 2018 at the Javits Center in NYC at the AuthorCentrix booth from May 31st - June 3rd. More about this in my next newsletter, Come Walk Your Path: Invest in Yourself and Grow.

Till next time, 

 May you be happy now and always, Alison 



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